YAY HOLLYWOOD!!!!!!!!

I never really wanted to write this post, but Hollywood amuses me so much I can't help myself. After a 20 odd week slide in box office cash flow from last year, Hollywood has found its swing again. What is funny to me is that most journalists and executives act as if they are surprised. The arrogant people over at Fox, the old grumps over at Universal, the sour sippers at MGM, all couldn't figure out why they were losing money every weekend at the box office. The funniest thing, during this time, was that the studios blamed the poor results on absurd circumstances: "Uh, yeah, it rained last night in parts of the Northeast. Yeah, there were some terrorist sightings in Wichita, really hitting the box office. We think, um, disco is coming back." What they neglect and who they forget to blame, is the real reason for this decline. They are the ones messing up their own business. As far as I am concerned, America really couldn't have made their job any easier; with our affection for narrative, and our reliance on formula.

During this month's long slide in revenue, I was cheering on the decline. Sitting back after every weekend reading about how "Guess whose Coming to Dinner," "Sahara," "Racing Stripes," and "Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous" were not meeting expectations, this no doubt tickled my raspberries. And why shouldn't this make me feel good? It is well documented, the industries tendency to sell-out, and America's irresponsibility with the medium, so why shouldn't all of us be happy that these jerks are getting what they paid for?

Unfortunately, for me, Hollywood has finally made its come-back. Again, however, people are surprised by this. What has happened is that there are no expectations for good material to come out of Hollywood anymore, so when something half worth watching arrives everybody feels the need to jump on it. To further complicate, these studios politically decide what they think are their "Oscar worthy" films. That process has little to do with us and is evident in the "People's Choice Awards," or the "MTV's Shapes and Colors Awards."

The issue is that people become grateful: happy to see their favorite star sit opposite Will Smith. It might, again, sound like a lot, but truly (honestly, plainly, skloggggly) is something we should immediately shun. It is bad enough that we leave the theater thinking, "Holy poo, I wasted cash on something I could have made with my friends for five bucks." The conglomerates shouldn't be so Surprizzzld when people stop going to the theater.

There really is no excuse for what is happening on the screens today. I don't expect anyone to argue against me (unless they work for First Line), so this goes out to the people dropping the big bucks to enjoy a night at the theater. I ask those that giggle, laugh, and kiss, to stop and look up at the screen for a moment. If we don't work together, then unquestionably we will we be left with "Miss. Congeniality 8: Guns, sisters, GWB, and drug people." It is a long winded warning, something I never wanted to say, but today I realized: I got no choice.